Charlotte

What you will be reading is just an invented story that I had to write for school during my Christmas break. You will obviuosly find some similarities with James Joyce because my intend was to imitate him. Hope you like 🙂

Charlotte was a woman who while taking part to  a reconciliation party with all her city friends which she met in high school, at a certain point, looking out of the window left ajar she saw a flower whose perfume was lulling her thoughts where for an instance she was neither there listening to the conversation, nor thinking to something else. That perfume inhibited her mind making her understand that her origins were modest, yet more joyful compared to the contest where she was now; more snobbish and unsatisfying.

Nevertheless now she is there. She finally arrived where she always wanted to be even though that demanded strain, sweat and tears. Since she was a child she always wished to make carrier and become economically richer and now that all her dreams had become true she was about to reconsider all the choices that she have made in life.

Knowing that her parents were still working at the farm while she was there drinking champagne and living in luxury made her feel ashamed. However what gripped her more was that she could not talk about her past with those people so what she did all night was nodding her head.

Once she finally got home meanwhile she was undressing her-self and putting away her fancy dress, from her wardrobe felt a box which contained old photos portraying her with her grandfather.  He was a man who always gave her all the love that she needed especially in her dark moments where her existential questions came afloat as lotus on a pond during the day.  She also remembered with nostalgia her happy day when she and her grandfather passed their evenings picking flowers from the field and looking for the hen new nest where probably there were also eggs.  Although this, that box had not been opened from ages because the only thing she wanted was to forget.  She couldn’t deal with the fact that once she had that accident which for many years destroyed her reputation. Her head broke in many pieces when she was just three years old and this bought her to be physically inappropriate for society standards of beauty. Just eventually after the death of her beloved grandfather her family finally had the money for paying medical and school rent.

She wanted to forget her past forever. Making that old and waste away Charlotte Doom die and rewinding till the start for beginning a new life with a new person; the new Charlotte.

However while looking to those photos she remember something that before of then was forgotten which were the words that her grandfather told her before of dying: “My sweet little granddaughter always once I’m gone please promise me to always remember what I’m about to tell you. Our family have always lived as a calycanthus: during our toughest times we knew how to survive and how to be eventually remember. Even you who now seem  to be so frail and weak, you will see how things in the future will change and you will become who everyone now don’t expect you to become. Don’t worry, you’ll make it right.”

“Yes he was right” was thinking Charlotte a bit amazed of that strange memory which seemed distorted.

Yet another memory of her grandfather came to her mind and that was when he told her to don’t worry about the other family members once she will achieve her dreams and will become richer, because everyone in the past have had the chance to change and it had been their choice if to try or not to fulfill their dream. Each one of us is the leader of their own life.

Charlotte was crying. How could she have forgotten that promise that inside of it had also many advises?

In the end she went to bed tired yet reliesed of having made peace with her past and from now on she will never forget of who she was and the difficulties that had to live for reaching her present.

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– Stella

I feel lost

Dear Fellows,

I feel lost because the writer that is inside of me, doesn’t know how, in which language and what to write about.

Nevertheless especially this year I’ve started feeling a rejections towards english and this I think it is such a terrible thing because, at least in my case, it also means to refuse my past and the teachings that made me who I am now.

I feel that inside of me there is something shaking me and willing of coming out for expressing something, yet the most tremendous thing is that it doesn’t come out but it just makes me go insane. I know that what is gripping me is the writer and I am also aware of what I may write; yet everytime I start writing I finish by slaying the idea and ripping the paper into shreds. All of this it’s going on from about a year, from when I’ve lost my Muse; the only person who inspired me and gave to my writer a sense for existing.

To be honest I’ve started writing because I was sure that only that was the real homemade cure for getting out from that slite depression that I had eight years ago.

It had been very helpful, it had also prevented me from becoming superficial and preserve who I really was. However now it doesn’t seem to be very hepful, maybe because now “The Problems” have changed and now I’m not looking anymore to society and how people are or think, but I just think about my self and my family problems; one of the reasons could be because now I’m integrated with society, I’ve found a tiny place in this big world and I’ve  created my social life… but am I happy now?

Not really. I’m living and negociating people sympathy just for the sake of not being alone anymore. How dreadful I am! NEGOTIATING SYMPATHY…

 

I’m superficial and nothing is more important of my image and what others think about me. I’m killing my real me. And my conditions are stable.

In any case think that….

Life is like a book. You have many characters of all kinds, yet for understaning the moral of the novel you have to read every single page and know, speak and strangly also understand all of them, because both the good and the bad exist to teach and are equaly important. If one of doen’t exist, then with it it disappears also the teaching and the learning.

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– Stella

Classifica dei migliori film

Questa è una classifica dei film che reputo i migliori che abbia mai visto. Non sono in ordine di valutazione ma sono disordinati! Spero di esservi stata d’aiuto! 😉

  1. A Beautiful Mind

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2. Big Fish

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3. The Danish Girl

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4. An Education

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5. Il grande Gatsby

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6. Noi siamo infinito

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7. Brooklyn

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8. La teoria del tutto

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9. Indignation

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10. La maschera di ferro

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11. Le pagine della nostra vita

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12. Io prima di te

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13. Freedom Writers

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14. Equals

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15. Il cigno nero

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16. Il mio grasso grosso matrimonio greco

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17. La vita segreta delle api

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18.Good Bye, Lenin

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19. Quasi amici

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20. Notting Hill

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Grazie per la lettura e buona visione!;-)

Stella

Una corpertina

La diva sorridente

in quella rivista fotografata.

Come fai tu a giudicare chi ella sia

Se ciò che vedi è una misera foto.

La vita è piena di momenti

che come scatti ti descrivano per intero alla fine dei tuoi giorni

Il film della tua vita

in cui tu reagisci in base a quel che conosci in quel momento

e alle intensità delle tue emozioni e dell’impeto

di quel che ti sta accadendo.

Solo ripensi: “Perchè non mi feci coraggio”

“Perchè non agì con più disprezzo?”

E solo alla fine arrivi a capire che il motivo

era che non sapevi quello che sai adesso.

Il breve illude,

Il lungo delude,

Il giusto spiega.

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– Stella